The Portland Rescue Mission

Lately I've been doing a "heart-check"...getting my priorities in line if you will. It's funny how struggle can bring clarity. In a time past the things I thought were important in God's Kingdom were flashy websites, movie clips and rocking music, as if somehow those things were required to help people see God. In recent past I saw the ugliness of those things and what a life can become when it is void of the true heart beat of God and began to understand that so much of my time and energy was wasted on things not valued by God.

I was hanging out at Multnomah Bible College at a ministry fair not too long ago (recruiting volunteers) when I happened to start up a conversation with the girl in the booth next to mine. She happen to work for the Portland Rescue Mission. I'd been searching for a way to start reconciling my reality with the things swirling around in my heart and mind and God opened the perfect door. She mentioned that the ministry was looking for someone to help head up their decorating team for their big holiday events. I just happen to LOVE decorating....especially for parties. Hmm...could God be giving me the opportunity I've been asking for? I tend to wait and chicken out when these things present themselves...I didn't, I just said yes.

Now having been in the process of better understanding the organization and what my role will be, I am even more convinced that God is at work. The heart beat of this ministry is beautifully aligned with the desires of God's heart to bring hope to the hopeless and to love those who can't even yet love themselves. Providing food, shelter, clean clothes, showers, laundry facilities, and a long term program that helps overcome addictions, emotional pain, gain education and career experience and so much more is only the beginning of the work the people involved in the mission are doing.

I believe that when Jesus says the end will come and we will be seperated on how we loved, this is what he means....and they do love, with everything they have to give.

It's an honor to be a part of something so beautiful. You can check out more about the mission and how you can help to by going to their website. www.portlandrescuemission.org

Switchfoot at the Crystal Ballroom

I saw Switchfoot in concert my freshman year of college when their first CD had come out and they were touring with Third Day and All-Star United. Let's just say that they've gotten better...a lot better! It's a fuzzy photo because I scanned it from my scrapbook but here's a photo of me and my friend Jen with them. We all look about 12 years old!



If you haven't had the chance to attend a concert at the Crystal Ballroom, make time...it's awesome! There's nothing like rock-n-roll blaring in your ears, standing on a suspended floor that bounces with every step while enjoying the museum-like beauty of the room. It's fascinating.

On to the concert.... First of all, it's amazing to me the following that Switchfoot has in Portland. People love them. The concert was better attended and the energy was higher than when I saw Jimmy Eat World there. (Who by the way happen to be one of my favorite bands.) I thought the audience was going to revolt. As each "listen to this CD until we're ready" song came to a close, the room would chant "Switchfoot...Switchfoot....Switchfoot" until another song played from the CD and so on until finally the room filled with screams and I knew (I was too short to really see) that it was time.

Lyrically, Switchfoot provides hope to a world without it. Though never coming out and singing that Jesus died for you, you sense that there is something bigger that you were made to be a part of. It's beautiful. The lyrics are honest and raw and are relatable to the human condition.

Their songwriting demonstrates an appreciation for a quality hook and singable melody. People at this concert didn't just sing along with the most popular radio hits, they sang along with it all. There were several times the band laid back and just let the audience blend their voices with the power of a gospel choir.

Imagine the beauty of standing in a room full of people who do and do not consider themselves followers of Christ, singing together with one strong voice...

"We want more than this world has to offer. We want more than this world has to offer. We want more than the wars of our fathers. And everything inside, screams for second life. We were meant to live for so much more..."

And musically, well they rock! The groove of the rhythm section and driving force of the guitars reminded me how much I love music. Matt often teases me because I can't let a groove go by without starting to dance. And there's nothing better than loud, melodic, passionate rock-n-roll to set you in motion.

Overall, I had a blast and would totally see them in concert again. When I took that photo with them in college, I never expected they would become the powerful band that they have. I'm thrilled that the industry took a chance and let the grow into what they are today!

Photos of Friends

Matt, Joey and Jessica at the beach in Seaside, OR. I'm behind the camera....





A bunch of us went hiking on Labor Day.

Bella & Her Daddy

Redemption & My Golf Swing

I fully enjoy a sunny day spent at the golf course with my husband who may on occasion throw a golf club in my vicinity (unintentionally) after a sad attempt to reach the green. We encourage each other and laugh at each other and from time to time go home feeling good about our improvement.

Golf is a game I would give up completely if it weren't for the occasional beautiful (relatively) swing. It's that one swing that when it happens you know it's right and it feels so natural. The club connects and the ball soars ahead many more yards than the 10-20 I'm used to hitting. That one in fifty swing brings me back again and again.

Today I realized I often feel that way about Christianity. Not God. I know and sense that God is eternally good. But we, as humans, have a long, long way to go. My progress it seems is often slow, if it's moving in the right direction at all. Occasionally I think it flies back a few yards (as my golf ball does at times, nearly killing anyone standing nearby). But then there are those moments when I catch a glimpse of a tiny particle of my character, redeemed and beautiful as God desires.

I see those glimpes in the church as well. If you've been around it very long you can understand that there are moments you feel ready to walk away. You see what seems to be complacency and a lack of progress. And then there are those beautiful moments when the light of God shows through and somehow you see the possibility in others. Those are the moments that bring me back. When my hope is lost for what we can be, God gives me a glimpse of how far we've already come.

How often do we look at our culture, our society and talk about how awful it has become. Truthfully, if we know anything about history, we see that we've always been messed up. We've never had it right. There was never any "Christian" nation or even a moral nation for that matter. Even in Rome when Constantine made Christianity the main religion of the Empire, he was doing it for political reasons. And America? Our history speaks for itself.

My desire is that we can become a people who stop fearing the moral decline of a nation and instead, start catching glimpses of how God is redeeming all of creation and what a beautiful process we have been invited to take part in. I wonder if we will ask God to show us where he is working, if he will begin to give us those moments that bring us back again and again, believing that all of creation can be fully redeemed, beautiful in the eyes of God.

The Last Word and the Word After That: A Review

I just finished reading a fascinating book titled, "The Last Word and the Word After That" by Brian McLaren. First let me say that if you don't feel strong enough to have your beliefs challenged without losing your faith, don't read it. It's fair to say that not all people are at a comfortable enough place in their faith to be able to be challenged in the way this book challenges. If you do feel you are mature enough I encourage to read it with the mind set that you might not like or agree with everything he writes and you may really hate the fact that some of the subject matter is even considered in the way that it is, but it will make you think. And that, I believe, is a good thing.

The book is essentially a "creative non-fiction," meaning that it communicates theological ideas through a fictional story. While it is still a complicated read, it is much easier to accept theology in terms of story than textbook. Perhaps that is what makes the Bible such a wonderful book. It communicates timeless truths using stories, some real life, some parable.

The theme of the book is centered around a re-evaluation of the concept or physical place of hell. The pastor and main character in the book is struggling with his exclusivity view of hell while not yet feeling comfortable enough to accept either the inclusive or universalist view either. The book is his process of wading his way through a thick history of varied ideas on the subject and coming to a better understanding that seems to him to be more in line with the character of God.

One of the things I found most compelling about the book is that eternity or the idea of heaven and hell were new to the Jewish religion sometime between the Old and New Testament. Previously the religions that had an understanding of an afterlife were more Greek and Babylonian rather than Jewish. During Jesus' time the Sadducces still didn't believe in the afterlife which is one of the things that set the Pharisees and Sadducces apart from one another. Secondly, a lot of the "hell" terminology used in the Bible is actually terminology from other religions. For instance, Hades, is a term for hell in Greek Mythology. There were a few others that I can't remember right now. You'd actually be amazed to see how many of the biblical stories of creation, the flood and other things are incredibly similar to the stories of other religions.

I don't want to give away the conclusions and questions that are brought up throughout the book because they are so difficult to grapple with that it's best to take them in full context rather than in my little blog.

But the ideas fascinate me and challenge me to look at the Bible with great respect and consideration, always seeking God for wisdom and never assuming everything I hear or read in regards to the Bible is simply true.

We know but in part....

Hannity & Colmes

I've been sitting here watching Fox News (Matt holds the remote) and I've been reminded once again why it drives me crazy that Sean Hannity's books are being sold in local Christian bookstores.

Now, I'm not going to go into political beliefs because I have only a few friends who have the ability to respectfully disagree on these types of issues.

What I will say is that this guy is ABSOLUTELY RUDE on this TV program to anyone who disagrees with him in the slightest. His TV personality is incredibly far from what I would consider to be a great demonstration of being a follower of Christ and I'm incredibly disappointed that we as a Christian community support this type of public behavior.

And that's all I'm going to say about that....

Sweet Bella

Here's another sweet picture of my little puppy coming home to live with me the week of November 15-19. I can't wait! And my friend (who shall remain nameless...but his name starts with J and ends with Y) better leave his mean mean nickname for her in his little head if he wants to come over any more!! :)

A Question to Ponder: Hell

I've been reading a book lately that has brought up some interesting questions considering the "theology of hell." A great question was posed that I believe holds great value and we should all consider what our answer to it might be....

If hell did not exist and there were no eternal consequences for my current behavior, would I still commit my life to loving and serving Jesus Christ?

Growing up I remember hell being a serious motivating factor for being a Christian. They used to show those cheesy "end-times" movies to scare you into following Jesus. But now I'm all grown up and I'm not so sure I buy the whole "Left Behind" idea. So now I have to wonder, if I hadn't been scared to death of the whole burning for eternity thing when I was young, would I have chosen this path? Don't freak, I'm not questioning my faith, just checking my motivations.

What about you? If you've made that choice, what motivated you to do so and what motivates you to keep doing so? And if you haven't, why not? Just curious....

DAVID CRUMM: Getting to the root of religion

Thanks to our old bass player Mike Broady for passing this article on. I totally resonate with with what this church is trying to do. Read on and maybe you will too...

BY DAVID CRUMM FREE PRESS COLUMNIST

The hottest preacher in Michigan this summer is a former punk rocker who's packing 10,000 people each Sunday into a remodeled mall southwest of Grand Rapids with a risky theology that offers as many questions as answers.

At age 34, the Rev. Rob Bell already stars in a popular series of direct-to-DVD inspirational movies called "NOOMA." In August, his book-length spiritual memoir, "Velvet Elvis," will hit stores nationwide from Zondervan.

But, sitting across the table from Bell at an Indian restaurant near his home in Grand Rapids on Sunday, he shrugged off any interest in fame. What matters, he said, is getting home for supper each night with his wife, Kristen, and maybe an hour of play time with his sons Preston, 5, and Trace, 7.

Anyone who has seen one of Bell's short "NOOMA" movies or has joined the vast crowd at the renovated mall in Grandville, called Mars Hill Bible Church, knows Bell is dead serious.

I drove up to see the church, because Bell has accomplished a feat that has religious leaders' jaws dropping: He's built a huge congregation dominated by 20-somethings, a group virtually missing in most churches.

"This journey we're on at Mars Hill isn't about numbers," Bell said. "You'll never catch me selling 'Seven Steps to a Mars Hill Model.' What we're interested in is real people stepping forward to tell how their lives are being transformed and how they're building healthy communities.

"Remember what Jesus always wanted to know?" he asked. "What's the fruit we're producing? Is justice being done? Are people sharing their possessions? Are the oppressed being set free? Are relationships being healed? To me, that's the point. Everything else is just chatter."

Since Mars Hill's founding in 1999, its charitable outreach has touched four continents. Now, the church is raising $1 million for AIDS relief in Africa.

"My theory of church growth is simple," said Bell, leaning across the table to deliver the coup de grace. "People drive a long way to see a fire."
Mars Hill's blaze may not be visible at first glance. There's nothing new about churches drawing casually dressed crowds by replacing pipe organs with rock bands and traditional altars with stages. That was news in the 1980s.

Instead, Mars Hill is a pioneer in a wave of churches nationwide that have little interest in décor. Instead, they're trying to rebuild the house of Christianity from its foundations. That's why Bell often preaches about basics.

On Sunday morning, I walked into the battleship-gray church, set up in the gutted interior of the mall's former anchor store. People settled into rows of plastic chairs facing a central stage, most of us curiously staring at the huge pile of topsoil in the middle of what other churches call the altar.

After 20 minutes of rock-style hymns, Bell walked up to the dirt pile in a work shirt. He lifted a handful of soil and retold the Bible story of God taking dirt and breathing life into the first humans. For half an hour, Bell talked about the wondrous nature of breathing, borrowing from Jewish, Christian and Hindu teachings.

He described breath as a form of prayer and urged people to relax and "breathe out" all of their anger and stress from the past week. He knelt and prayed, "God, we are fragile clods of dirt, and we need you to breathe into us hope and truth and love and courage."

Something in that earthy moment moved people in visible ways. One man near me cupped his face in his hands and used his fingers to wipe away tears. A woman kicked off her sandals and sat cross-legged as a beatific smile spread across her face.

As the service ended, parishioner Michael Sullivan, 27, of Grand Rapids said Mars Hill is the first church he's seen "that boils down church to the essentials -- just music and a message about what we're going through in our daily lives."

His friend Tina Boljevac, also 27 and from Grand Rapids, added, "And, Rob's honest."

He's so honest that the title of his memoir, "Velvet Elvis," is a jarring metaphor for how oddly out of date traditional churches appear to many young Christians -- like finding a painting of Elvis Presley on a black-velvet canvas in someone's basement, Bell writes.

That's how alienated many young people feel toward organized religion, Marcus Borg, a Bible scholar who has written several books on reinventing Christianity, told me later by telephone.

"In the religious studies class I teach at Oregon State University, I ask students to write down their impressions of Christianity and their adjectives include: anti-intellectual, judgmental and bigoted," Borg said. "So, I think Rob Bell's attempt to change this impression is exciting."
In Bell's envisioning of Christianity, he's also trying to bypass some of the feuds that have left many denominations deadlocked.

Women's ordination? No problem at Mars Hill. A third of the 15 associate pastors who work with Bell are women.

Homosexuality? Bell tells gay people the same thing he tells everyone who walks through the door. It's a powerfully affirming line that he repeated in his sermon on Sunday: "God loves you exactly as you are. Period."

The Rev. Brian McLaren, a pastor from Maryland who has become a national adviser to churches like Mars Hill, said: "Rob's one of the most courageous pastors in the country. What he's trying to do is move past the battle lines that have caused such polarization."

Bell seems well equipped for such tough work, growing up around controversy and jumping into the edgy life of a performer at an early age. He's the son of U.S. District Court Judge Robert Holmes Bell, whose controversial cases have ranged from the expansion of casinos to the storage of nuclear waste. And, even as Rob Bell went from Okemos High School to Wheaton College in Illinois and Fuller Theological Seminary in California, he moonlighted as a guitarist in punk bands.

When he founded Mars Hill in 1999, he named it after the spot in Greece where Paul of Tarsus preached to leading intellectuals and pagan leaders. Criticizing ancient houses of worship, Paul declared, "God ... does not dwell in temples made with hands."

At the restaurant on Sunday night, Bell wiped a final bit of curry from his chin and said: "The bad thing about a lot of theology today is that it works like a box. The church draws a square box around itself and divides the world between people who are 'in' and 'out.' I don't think that's what Jesus intended. He saw the church as a journey we take together. That's what interests me: the exploration, the relationships, the excitement of trying to discover this together. All I'm doing is asking people to come along."

Our Need to be Busy

Our Need to be Busy. It's a silly title, I know. Who actually needs to be busy? A lot of us do....

In college I lead worship for a ministry called Open DooR. Yes, the R is capitalized on purpose. Our band was lucky enough to be given many opportunities to lead worship outside the ministry. A good friend of mine came to me once and said that a certain group was considering asking the band to lead worship for a retreat and she told them not to ask me. When I asked her why she simply said, "Because I knew you'd say yes."

Back in those days I needed someone to protect me from my "need to be busy." For some reason, in many of us, there is a certain fear that if we turn down opportunities that come our way we will somehow be less important. We've all bought into a lie that says we should feel guilty if our schedules aren't filled to the max. I used to even feel guilty for taking time to read my Bible and pray, as if there was something else more important that I should be "accomplishing." It's sick, I know.

Thankfully, somewhere along the way I learned to ignore my need to be busy and recognize my need to rest. I rarely need someone to tell me when to take a day off because I usually know when I need it and I'm not afraid to take it.

Lately I've discovered a different challenge to the "need to be busy" problem. Sometimes it's hard being a Christian and working in a church. My busyness is usually good busyness so it can be difficult to notice when it's more about my need to feel important than it is about doing what God wants me to do.

So now I'm trying to practice being a follower of Christ simply because I love Jesus, not because I'm paid to serve. If I'm busy serving, I want it to be about loving Jesus, not about growing my church and not about appearing to be a better, more important Christian than I really am.

In his book, "The Life You've Always Wanted," John Ortberg tells a great story about Pope John XXIII, who apparently had an advisor that was constantly telling him the problems of the church and the world, etc... The pope had finally had enough so he took the guy aside and confessed that he, too, was sometimes tempted to live as though the fate of the world rested on him. He was helped, he said, by an angel who would sometimes show up and say, "Hey, there, Johnny boy, don't take yourself so seriously."

CRASH: A Rant...

This weekend I watched a movie called "Crash." You may have heard of it...it's fairly new and has several well-known actors in it. Anyway, the entire movie is about racism and the stupid things people and think and do and the pain that is caused as a result of it. The movie was engaging but I found myself frustrated through much of it for two reasons: Ignorance and Injustice...two of my pet peeves.

I can't stand to see people treated poorly simply because of another person's stupidity. I'm not going to go into the whole racial thing because that's a deeper subject than I care to dabble in at this current moment, and besides, in my line of work I see another type of stupidity more often than I see racism.

Religious Ignorance. I wouldn't classify myself as being devoted to any particular "denomination" per se. I've grown up in and worked in a variety of churches from Baptist to Presbyterian to Assembly of God to Church of God to Christian Church to Vineyard, etc... I don't hold any allegiance to any one over another. I agree and disagree with different points of the represented theologies, but big deal, what do I know anyway.

What makes me absolutely insane is when I hear things like this: "Oh she isn't Christian, she's Presbyterian." I'm sorry, did I hear that correctly? Because last I checked, we were all under the same "religion." Now, if you would have said, "Oh she isn't Christian, she's Buddhist." Well, ok then. Different God, different religion, got it. But SERIOUSLY!!

A while back someone told me that the Baptists don't put enough emphasis on baptism. The BAPTISTS don't put enough emphasis on BAPTISM. Is this what our theological seminaries are teaching nowadays?

By the way, don't bother trying to reach out and love people who don't yet love and follow Christ. No, it'd be better to send an outreach team to reach the Methodists instead.

I hope you hear the sarcasm in my voice.

OK, here's my point... I thought this whole thing (Christianity) was about loving Jesus and loving the people around us. At what point did that turn into condemning our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for understanding things differently than we do? [And yes I'm aware that technically that is what I'm doing right now...]

Do you ever think that maybe...just maybe...we are human and none of us can fully understand the fullness of God's Word? Isn't that the point when it tells us that we can only know "in part." So maybe you've got it wrong and the Pentecostals have it right. Who really knows!

The point is that we all love the same Jesus and we all serve the same God and we all seek the same purpose...helping others know and love Jesus too. So instead of pointing fingers and acting like a bunch of ignorant people who can't see past our own egocentric view of life, maybe we could just love God and people and leave the theology up to Someone who really gets it.

NOTE: Before you leave me a comment questioning my faith, let me end by saying, I'm not suggesting that you don't hold tight to what you believe to be true. I'm not saying you should assume that truth is relative and everyone's ideas of things are ok. What am I saying is that within the Christian religion there are a variety of understandings regarding certain theological ideas. When someone loves and follows Jesus, don't condemn them for disagreeing with you. Like you, they are attempting to understand and follow a book that was written thousands of years ago in a culture unlike our own with writing styles that vary from todays and is filled with incredibly strange stories. With sincerity they are trusting God to give them understanding...again like you. Let God make the heaven vs. hell decisions In the end it's not up to us anyway.

My Thoughts...?

Well, I told my husband I thought he was pompous for creating a blog...I mean who has time to sit and read someone's random thoughts and opinions on whatever they happen to be thinking of at the time. But then I thought that was mean so maybe I should try it myself...we'll see how well I keep up with it!

So, a little about me I guess...

The temptation is to start with my job because, well, the tendency is always to define ourselves by the work we do. But I don't really feel like my job is a very good indicator of my self, so let's ignore that for now.

I've been married for four years. My parents are starting to give up on the hope that I'll have children any time in the near future. I find the older I get, the more I enjoy my free time and the harder I find it to imagine myself with little ones running around. Not that I don't like kids, I do...but I like to give them back after a while! :) So, I've decided to get a puppy instead. In about 10 weeks I'll be getting a Miniature Dachshund and she is SO cute! But I hear pet-blogs are "out," so enough about her.


I have a love/hate relationship with my gym. I totally love the yoga classes I take. I feel so much better about myself and at no other time in my day am I able to quiet my mind in such a fashion. However, I have this desire to be one of those incredibly buff women you see and think, "She could totally beat the crap out of me..." and there are SO many women like that at my gym that it makes me feel fat even though I'm skinny! It's sick! I think it has something to do with being made fun of all my life for being skinny. For once I'd like people to look at me and be afraid! Ha! If you know me, that probably makes you laugh becaue I couldn't hurt a fly!

So...those are currently my two obsessions, my soon-to-be puppy and yoga. That and the new season of The O.C. Make fun of me all you like...it's entertaining!

Well, I think that's enough for my first post. Don't want to give away too much information! Might spoil the suspense! Lol...