Uh-Oh Out to Eat

We haven't eaten at a restaurant very often since S was born but we've done it a few times and she has always been a perfect angel. Either she sleeps, sits happily in her car seat or happily in my arms. Until today...

I was already a little hesitant because we were heading out during what tends to be a cranky time of night for her. But I thought perhaps it'd be okay because she seems to really enjoy getting out of the house. I got a little more worried as she cried in the car during the drive. And of course as soon as we got there she wanted out of her car seat and started fussing.

It's hard to decide what to do at that moment I discovered. Stay or go? We just walked in, we haven't ordered. We could leave without a problem. Should we brave it and hope she doesn't get any fussier or should we run for the hills?

We stayed and braved it. Luckily, between her dad and I bouncing her and continually switching her position throughout the meal, she kept mostly quiet. It wasn't until the very end that she really started to cry. But seriously, who wants to pay $7 for a tiny plate of food while having to bounce a fussy baby and rush through dinner. I could do that at home! Oh well, better luck next time.

Fleeting Moments

This week little S started picking up her rattle.  Last week she could only hold it if I opened her hand and placed it in it.  Today she picks it up and tries to put it in her mouth.  I can't help but think she's almost 20 and moving out of my house already.  I can already hardly remember what it was like to hold her when she was barely even 8 lbs.  The nights of pacing the floors for hours and hours and sleeping on the couch with her because she refused to lay anywhere but in someone's arms, seem like a long forgotten memory.

Last night I while I nursed her in bed at 1:30 in the morning I smiled as her tiny little hand softly caressed my breast.  These are the moments that won't be captured on film.  These are the moments that fill my heart up.  These are the moments that I fear will fade in my memory as new special moments between mother and daughter appear.

I know many moms who talk about really disliking having their babies sleep in the room with them, but I cherish it.  I love it when I wake up in the night and can look over and see her sweet little arms stretched out and her body curled up on her side, just like I like to sleep.  I love that when she starts to fuss before falling asleep, it usually only takes my hand resting on her tummy to calm her back to sleep.  I love those last couple of hours in the morning when she's not tired enough to sleep in her co-sleeper but she will cuddle up in my arms and sleep beside me.  I wake up before she does many days and open my eyes to see her sweet face next to mine and I just watch her as she sleeps.  I wouldn't trade any hours of extra sleep for these moments with my daughter.  I know that before long she'll be too grown to cuddle in bed with me.  She'll want her own room, her privacy.  But for now, I will cherish these moments.

Rough Night

What exactly makes a baby a bad baby? I get asked all the time, "Is she a good baby?" I never quite know how to answer that. Well, how would you describe a good baby? Quiet? Sleeps well? Good eater? Okay, my little one is really none of those things. Does that make her bad? I can't imagine we'd ever tell a 3 year old she had a bad personality because she wasn't quiet and compliant. In fact, those skills don't necessarily benefit a person as they get older.

Last night was a rough night. It was probably what some would describe as "bad baby" behavior. Not that she could really help it I suppose. Wouldn't fall asleep until around midnight and that was only in bed with me. Slept a few hours in her co-sleeper after I ever so gently slid her from under my arm into her bed. Woke up to eat again at 5:30 and half an hour later she'd pooped all over my bed. I suppose those are the dangers of co-sleeping. Besides suffocation of course. Although I'd say the chances of turning over into a pile of spit-up or a wet poopy spot are much higher than suffocation.

I tend to always look for a "reason" for the behavior. I figure if there's a reason then I can fix it. I admit to certain ridiculous thinking along these lines. Last night (and actually it was at 6 am this morning but since I was planning to sleep a few more hours, I'm calling it night), I was thinking, "You just pooped all over yourself to make sure I had to get up and change your diaper, didn't you?" See I've pretty much stopped changing her diaper at night. She rarely poops and frankly I'm too exhausted to get up and I'd rather try and keep her as asleep as possible. Her changing table makes her giddy for some reason. She goes from fast asleep to laughing in seconds. But of course she's started to get a little diaper rash (I thought we had that all taken care of!!). So I'm thinking, what kind of mother lets her baby stew in urine all night and gives her a diaper rash? So certainly, she must have had a blow-out to insist that I get up and change her. She's quite clever like that.

God our Father

Last night I woke up from a dream where Matt ran into our room in the middle of the night to tell me to grab the baby and hide because there was a bad person in the house. I remember thinking I'd do anything to protect her, even give my life.

Moments later she's in my arms and refusing to sleep. I was reminded of a book I'm reading called, "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year," by Anne Lamott. She writes about the strange feeling of loving her son so incredibly deeply and yet wanting to throw him down the stairs at times.

In my extreme exhaustion I'm understanding her feeling. While I just woke up from a dream where I realized I'd give my life for her, at this moment the thought of dropping her down some stairs sounds intriguing. Okay, maybe just wrapping her nicely in a basket and leaving her at the neighbors doorstep like poor little Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

I wonder if God feels like this about us. He obviously loved us enough to give his life for us. But perhaps he also wants to throw us down some stairs at times. And I've only got one little screaming child. God has an entire earth filled with screaming children. I used to think the Psalm that talks about God never sleeping because he's always watching over us was a beautiful picture of God's love and protection. Now I'm thinking maybe this whole never slumbering thing is not for lack of trying.

Insanity Plea

If I ever committed murder I could easily call for an insanity plea. It's completely ludicrous, the things I do and think are necessary to achieve just a few hours of sleep or peace and quiet. One night my dear child falls asleep quickly and stays asleep for four hours so I have to retrace my steps to figure out what miracle cure I have found.

Okay, so Tuesday night I drank three sips of cherry coke and ate half a chocolate chip cookie while daddy held her. Then I nursed for fifteen minutes and quickly changed her diaper. Daddy rocked her in the chair for half an hour and then laid her in her co-sleeper with the fan on and the small lamp lighting the room. Five hours later she wakes up for her first middle of the night feeding. Sweet! Well, then Wednesday night I must do the exact same thing because obviously I have found the key. Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat...as needed.

My new thinking is that daddy has to rock her or she won't stay asleep. Which sucks since daddy is playing poker tonight. Shit. I'm going to be up all night with a screaming baby. So I'm sitting in my rocking chair after nursing and changing her diaper. Matt says I'm not relaxed enough and since she's screaming at the top of her lungs, I'm thinking, "Sure...relax." So I let me body go limp (while trying to still hold her...right). Uh yeah, this doesn't help. Ah, perhaps it is the perfect balance of relaxed and stiff that I'm looking for. Stiffen, relax, stiffen, relax. And so it goes.

This ridiculous line of thinking goes on in my head for a while when I suddenly realize, she's quiet and her eyes are barely open. And just a few minutes later, she's asleep in her co-sleeper and I'm sitting here typing when I should be getting ready for bed.

The Unique Nature of Motherhood

I was really not interested in being a mom for a very long time. In fact, it wasn't until about a year ago that I changed my mind and here I am a year later with a 1 month old. Part of my problem with the whole "mom" thing was that I was afraid of losing who I am and becoming this new person called, "mom." While I was pregnant I kept asking myself and my husband if I would change when the baby was born. I wondered if I would see the world differently. I wondered if I'd suddenly morph into this new person that was just like every other mom out there. I wondered if I suddenly be doing all the things that used to drive me crazy about parents.

Since she's been born I've read other "mom" blogs and I've found something interesting that for a split second concerned me and then quickly thrilled me. I am not a different person. I am still me. I still think the same way. I still care about the same things. I love my child more then I ever knew was even possible. I cry a little more when I watch shows about kids. But really I'm still me. Yeah, I share some similar experiences with other moms, but just because our experiences are similar, doesn't mean I feel the same about them as every other mom.

I've been bothered by this idea that because I'm a mom I suddenly think the same as every other mom around, as if I should agree with everything they think and smile and nod ferociously as if I was once blind but now see with such clarity all the things they've been telling me. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't. And I know without a doubt that I am a wonderful mother.

I'm still annoyed by people who use their kids as an excuse for everything. I do everything in my power to get to places on time, even with a newborn. And when I don't, it's not her fault, it's mine for not planning better. We do, however, get to most places on time.

I have more energy and motivation to clean my house then I ever did before. In fact, the whole "supermom" thing excites me and inspires me rather then drains and frustrates me. Being able to take care of a baby while keeping my house in tact is awesome. And I do. I have a baby who wants to be held 24/7 but I hold her AND take care my house. I don't do it out of some sick sense of obligation that I will later resent. I do it because it's just awesome to be a supermom.

I get up and take a shower, do my hair and makeup and eat breakfast pretty much every day. In my opinion, a happy healthy mom makes for a happy healthy baby. And I just feel better about myself and my life when I look nice. A ponytail and no make up makes me feel tired and sluggish. I do have those days too, of course, but they are not daily and I do not blame my child when they happen. I blame the fact that I'm feeling lazy and want a sleepy day.

I still care about being a teacher. I love the time I spend with my baby. I'm enjoying have some time away from work to get to know her and establish a secure connection with her. But I want to go back from work. It's important to me. It excites me when I think about having my own classroom again. It's something I'm passionate about and that didn't change when I had a baby.

I am not a stressed-out first time mom. I choose not to be. Moms always talk to me with this, "Don't worry, you'll be more relaxed with your second baby" tone and I just want to shout from the roof tops, "I'm happy, I'm relaxed, this is totally natural!!" I don't freak out about the little things. I'm confident in my ability to make wise choices about how to parent my child. I trust my instincts. And when I don't know what to do, I remind myself that this is just a season. I have a few moments here and there where the hours and hours of screaming get to me. I cry or pout or take my crankiness out on my husband. But I'm okay with all of that too because it is what it is and it won't last forever.

So there ya go. There isn't some "mom" mold that you have to fit into when you have your first child. Yeah, you'll probably experience some similar things as me and other moms. Most of them involve poop and sleeplessness. But you can be who you want to be, feel how you want to feel, respond to this new life experience however you want to respond to it. Just like every pregnancy is unique, every experience of motherhood is unique because you, the mom, are unique. And that's a good thing because your baby was made just for you.

New Chapter

So my mac site is gone because I'm too cheap to pay for it. I don't want to blog on facebook or myspace because frankly, I'm not sure most of my friends understand the way I think and I get a little tired of explaining myself or arguing. So for the sake of enjoying the process of writing and getting out my thoughts, I'm back to my old blog without announcing it to the world. I may or may not write very often because the latest excitement in my life is that I have a new baby and she is what I like to call, "high needs." Loves to be held at all times and doesn't sleep a whole lot. Not a big fan of the things that usually make babies happy like swings. So that means my hands are usually full of a child, giving me little time to type at any length. But we'll see.

New Website

So with my new mac computer I got a .mac account and have created my own website to host my blog.  You can now read my writings at...

http://web.mac.com/aprilnissen/ 

There's also pictures and a variety of other things there.  I won't be posting here anymore.

Things Keep Looking Up

Well, it's officially 2008, 1:19 am. I am entering the New Year with a clean house and feeling quite proud of the ass-whooping I gave out tonight on Guitar Hero. Sorry Joey. And with a little self-control I am now enjoying the calm feeling after just one Mike's and thankfully avoided the distasterous three.

It's amazing what a year brings. Last year I spent New Year's Eve with extrememly mixed emotions. Thrilled to be out of a bad situation. Nervous about the fact that we were basically unemployed with a pretty hefty mortgage payment and no prospects. But God was faithful.
We put our house on the market. We didn't know where we were going but we knew we couldn't afford to stay where we were and the housing market was just starting to look a little scary so we knew it could take a while to sell. I wanted to move. Had to get out of this town. Had to leave behind all the crap we'd gone through in the last three years. Never wanted to look back. But then this nice guy named Matt Hanan came along and suddenly I realized that not all Christian leaders in this community sucked. (I was a bit jaded at the time.) And much to my surprise he took a major chance on Matt and gave him a part-time, temporary job at his church. They did it more to help us out then to help them. They didn't actually even need him at the time. I was amazed at how kind they were to us. It'd been a long time since I'd seen that kind of kindness in the church.

There was still the question of housing though. Between our jobs, we didn't make enough to own a home anymore and I planned to go back to school within a years time and we'd definitely not be able to afford to own a home then. The thought of living in an apartment again totally sucked. We'd have to get rid of a lot of junk. But again, God was faithful. Friends of ours had a house to rent and they were going to give us an amazing deal and even let us fix it up on their dime. Our home still wasn't selling. We weren't really even getting any decent bites. But we finally decided to commit to renting their house even if it meant using our savings and paying double for a little while. But again, God was faithful. We promised to start paying them in April. April was coming close and the house hadn't sold yet and we were getting nervous. But just in the right time, we got a good offer, accepted and closed just two weeks after we started paying on our new place.

Of course things were still up in the air. Matt wasn't promised a job at New Heights. We'd just see how things went for a couple of months. He kept working at Starbucks in the meantime. Come July, they offered him a full-time job and he accepted.

I was telling the New Heights staff wives that I finally feel like I'm coming around again, that God has been healing the ginormous hole in my heart and that He's used New Heights to do that. Cindy, our pastor's wife said that when we are hurt by the church, and it does happen, it's so important that we stick around and let God use the church to heal us too. I feel like I'm entering this New Year a lot less jaded, a lot less angry and finally believing again that God is actually good. See, I always believed God was good. I never doubted his incredible grace and his goodness. But the theology I was taught and that was demonstrated to me in the last few years was that God was a big bully just waiting to take my lunch money and if by chance I didn't have any lunch money to give, well I better watch out because hellfire was going to rain down on my house. And since I felt like hellfire had been raining down on my house for three years, I figured I must have seriously screwed up and God had walked away from me. Through the right teaching and love demonstrated at New Heights, I am remembering God for who He truly is, good and faithful.

I enter this New Year very different than last year. We still face some uncertainties as I wait to find out if I have been accepted into the Master in Teaching program at WSU and yeah, we're a little uncertain how the financial thing will work out when I quit my job to do that. But rather then worrying about it, I am trusting in God's perfect plan and believing that he is good and looking forward to the great things that will come in 2008.

A Christian's Perspective

Matt and I have noticed that in the last six months we have significantly reduced the amount of trash we throw away. Part of it I think is that we recycle everything we possibly can because our bins are more easily accessible now. The other part though, I think, is that we've made efforts to buy less stuff.

This current observation combined with a friend's comment on my last blog (on myspace) regarding having an eternal perspective rather than focusing on preservation, my current textbook chapter on waste management and the blog of another friend of mine, Greg, has led me to some thoughts on the matter of "affluenza."

There have been some significant strides made in regards to waste management in our country but we've got a long way to go. I mentioned in my response to Merilee that we (Americans) use a much larger share of resources than do people in developing nations. In fact, our country leads the world in per capita waste production and energy consumption. (according to my textbook) A big part of the problem is the fact that we buy too much stuff.

Here's an entertaining (yet relevant) questionaire from my textbook... Take a look and see if you have been struck by the "affluenza" bug:

1) I'm willing to pay more for a t-shirt if it has a cool corporate logo on it.
2) I'm willing to work at a job I hate so I can buy lots of stuff.
3) I usually just make the minimum payment on my credit cards.
4) When I'm feeling blue, I like to go shopping and treat myself.
5) I spend much more time shopping each month than I do being involved in my community.
6) I'd rather be shopping right now.
7) I'm running out of room to store myself.

Now give yourself two points for every true and one point for every false. If you scored 10 or more, you may need to find a cure for "affluenza." Luckily I only scored a 7! :-) (Quiz found in Environmental Science by Richard T. Wright.)

Look, this issue is a broad one. I already mentioned the waste management issues. We throw it away and forget about it but we don't realize the increasing costs involved in disposal and the amount of fossil fuels being wasted in transportation and disposal of wastes not to mention the making of more and more stuff to feed our consumerism. Plus the polluting of our ground water supplies when landfills are not properly maintained.

But for Christians the issue goes deeper. Maintaining an eternal perspective is, as I mentioned below my last blog, keep focusing on who Jesus is and how he would live in our world so that we are living as He does when He returns for us. However, it is also an issue of not building up treasures for ourselves here on earth because this place is not our home. When our focus is working more to buy more, we lose God's perspective on life and that is that it should be spent loving people and living in a way that brings others closer to God, not shopping.
We need to broaden our horizons and understand that the lifestyles we live have a greater impact than we can understand on our world and the other people living in it.

Environmentalism and Christianity do not need to be in competition with one another. You can be both. You can focus on caring for our world and still maintain your commitment to Christ. You don't have to buy into political lies that separate these issues into conservative and liberal camps, leaving you fearful that if you care about the environment you might be supporting God-hating heathens.

It is an easy to answer to say you think God is coming back soon so we shouldn't worry about the environment but God's timing is not our timing. From biblical times until now, every generation has believed they were living in the end times. However, a 1000 years to us may be like a day to God so really, who knows when God is coming back. It is not our job to focus on end-times theology. It is our job to live as Christ would live while we are here on this earth and that involves loving those who live with us now and those who will come after us, if it so happens that Jesus does not return in our lifetime.

Global Warming

Global Warming is a complicated and often debated term. There was a quick clip of someone speaking in, “An Inconvenient Truth,” that said something like, “It could be the greatest hoax every played on the American public.” I thought it was interesting when Al Gore mentioned that a study was done by reading something like 900 different articles on global warming written by scientists and absolutely every article in the group agreed that global warming was an issue and it was an issue caused by human actions. However, a study done of information passed out by the media was full of mixed messages regarding whether or not global warming was real. Like Gore said, it’s no wonder people are confused.

Understanding all of the things that impact climate is rather overwhelming to me. Between atmospheric structure and ocean currents, there are a lot of factors that pull together to create our climate. Essentially, the earth works similar to a greenhouse. “On a global scale, water vapor, CO2, and other gases in the atmosphere play a role analogous to that of the glass in a greenhouse.” ( Wright 546-547) These gases are referred to as greenhouse gases. Light energy coming from the sun enters the atmosphere and is then absorbed by the earth where it becomes heat energy. The heat energy is then radiated back into the atmosphere and then into space. Greenhouse gases in the atmosphere stop some of the heat energy from going into space and reflect it back to earth. (546-547) If the levels of these gases in the atmosphere change, there will be an impact on our climate. If the levels of GHGs increase, more heat energy is radiated back to earth, causing the climate to warm. If the levels decrease, less heat energy is radiated back, causing it to cool. There are also many other things that act as positive and negative forcing agents, working together to keep a balance between warming and cooling.

Currently our human impact on these natural cycles is being seen as the levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, especially carbon dioxide are increasing. The potential impacts of global warming are devastating and it is the already vulnerable members of our world who will suffer the consequences the most. Already struggling with issues of “water availability, food security, health and disease, life in low-lying regions” the poor will feel the first impacts of global warming. The movie, “An Inconvenient Truth,” mentioned several negative impacts of global warming. For example, more evaporation due to higher temperatures, leads to more precipitation and thus flooding. And completely opposite to that, higher temperatures, sucking more water out of the soil will lead to droughts. The movie mentioned several specific examples of people around the world who’ve already been suffering from unusual droughts or flooding or even extremely high temperatures. One example was in Mumbai, India where it rained 37 inches in just 24 hours. Temperature and weather changes are things that we might all think about already in relation to global warming, but I was especially interested in problem mentioned by the changing of seasons. Gore mentioned that in nature’s perfect design, caterpillars and baby birds come out around the same time but due to changes in seasons, somehow the caterpillars came out to early and when the baby birds were born, there wasn’t enough food for them. It would be impossible to consider all of the ecological niches that would be affected by climate change.

Whether or not you are willing to fully buy in to the warnings of scientists regarding the issue of global warming, it seems to me that even the threat of such problems should lead us to make changes. I liked the example in the movie of insurance. It’s not inevitable that your house will burn down, but you still take out home insurance when you buy a house. If there is even a slight chance that future generations will face the devastating affects of our lifestyles, wouldn’t it be the most life-honoring thing to take positive steps towards change? I have friends who only vote on the lines of one issue, the issue they call: the sanctity of life. My question to them is relation to the environment is, “What about the lives of all those to come after us? Isn’t the environment a sanctity of life issue as well?”


Works Cited
Wright, Richard T. Environmental Science Toward a Sustainable Future. New Jersey: Pearson Prentice-Hall, 2005.

An Inconvenient Truth

Renewable Energy Sources

There are benefits and downsides to all possible sources of energy. The important thing for us to understand is how each source works and what the benefits and downsides are so that we can properly way them against each other in order to make wise energy choices for our future. It seems to me that it will most likely be a balance of several types of energy that will help us in the long run to at least slow down our rapid loss of fossil fuels.

Solar power is one such alternative and renewable energy. “Solar energy originates with thermonuclear fusion in the Sun.” (Wright 377) Solar energy occurs when hydrogen nuclei (which is what the sun and stars are mostly made of) come together to create larger atoms (e.g. helium). (369) While some scientists have attempted to recreate this, it has not yet become effective for a variety of reasons. Therefore our greatest source of power created through the process of fusion is the sun itself.

The 2nd law of thermodynamics tells us that as energy is transferred, some is always lost. This loss is what would allow us to use solar energy without it changing the energy balance of the biosphere. (378) The solar constant is the amount of energy (1370 watts per square meter) that reaches the earth. (377) “About half of this energy actually makes it to Earth’s surface; 30% is reflected, and 20% is absorbed by the atmosphere.” Energy that is absorbed by water or land is eventually converted to heat and lost and even the part that is absorbed by plants is eventually lost as heat energy as the food is broken down by consumers. Also, any energy we would use would eventually become heat energy and be lost as well. (378)

Solar energy can and is being used in a variety of ways to decrease our dependency on fossil fuels. Water heating and space heating are two areas of energy use that would significantly lower the amount of fossil fuel we use if a larger majority would use solar energy for those purposes. There are of course some challenges with using solar energy. There is the question of, “What do we do when there is a significant amount of inclement weather.” In the Northwest we know that sunlight is limited for a long winter season and what about in the evening when the sun is down? Places like Alaska that have extremely long periods of darkness in the winter would greatly struggle to use solar energy.

“Solar power can also be used to produce electrical power, thus providing an alternative to coal, and nuclear power.” (382) Solar cells, called photovoltaic cells, are used to collect solar energy and put out electrical current. One cell can produce about 1 watt of power. (382) However, linking several cells together can create various amounts of power. Probably one of the most well known examples of this is the pocket calculator. The cost of these cells are high because of “their sophisticated design and construction.” (382) As the cost of them has been slowly coming down, they are being used more.

In order to make solar energy more widely used, the issues mentioned above and others would have to be answered in cost effective ways. It is difficult to get people to think past the here and now. So, if it is greatly less expensive to use fossil fuels for their energy needs, they will do so without much regard for the future. Just the other day I was speaking with someone about similar matters and that person said to me, “Well, if it’s good for my family and saves us money, I don’t really care about anything else.” Unfortunately I have a feeling that is a more prevalent attitude than we would like to admit. It is why companies like Wal-Mart are able to do the business they do. Perhaps we need to adopt a more “love your neighbor” type attitude that extends beyond our generation.

Wright, Richard T. Environmental Science Toward a Sustainable Future. New Jersey: Pearson Prentice-Hall, 2005.

Making a Difference

I came up with 48 ways I can personally work to conserve energy and the world's natural resources. What can you do?

Take cooler showers.
Take shorter showers.
Turn lights off when not in use.
Use compact fluorescent bulbs.
Recycle everything possible.
Water lawn and garden at night or in the early morning.
Drink water from the facet rather than water bottles.
Don't use the air-conditioning…since I don't have one! J
Don't rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
Teach my preschool students to use only one paper towel at hand-washing time because we want to use only as few trees as possible. When they wash their hands I always say, "Use one towel, save a tree."
I also teach them about throwing trash in the trash can and helping to pick up trash in our yards and parks.
I also teach them about pond pollution and how it kills fish. We have a fun little game we play!
Group errands together to cut down on amount of driving.
Use energy-saving appliances.
Keep tires properly inflated to save on gasoline.
Carry Canvas bags to purchase groceries instead of bags that throw away. Or at least use paper bags that can be recycled.
Unplug chargers when they are not being used.
Turn off computers or at least put them to sleep while not in use rather than using screen savers.
Turn water off while shaving.
Turn water off while brushing teeth.
Turn water off while scrubbing hands with soap.
Vote for political candidates that support environment protections.
Eat more locally grown food.
Don't have a lot of children, or adopt. I have 12 adopted brothers and sisters.
Get a bike and ride it rather than driving when possible.
Use public transportation.
Carpool to work.
Buy the things I need, not everything I want in order to cut down on stuff to throw away.
Do Christmas shopping online instead of driving all over town.
Hang dry laundry, especially when it is sunny and warm outside.
Dispose of things like batteries and paint properly.
Only run laundry and dishwasher with full loads.
Use cold water in washing machine.
Unplug appliances when not using them.
Collect rain water to water my garden and yard.
When washing my car, use a sprayer attached to the hose to keep water from draining out in between washing and rinsing.
Use natural lighting whenever possible instead of unnecessarily turning on lights.
Don't eat out all the time, cutting down on driving and other things.
Encourage recycling at my preschool. Right now people throw away a ton of paper and cardboard boxes every day. I plan to request a box in my classroom this year to recycle at least paper.
Rinse and re-use ziplock bags.
Drink less soda to cut down on cans and bottles being used.
Use biodegradable products.
Use towels for cleaning and regular mops rather than all the new use and throw away cleaning items.
Buy in bulk so there is less to throw away.
Use items like paper towel tubes, yogurt containers, and more to create recycled art with my preschoolers.
Crunch up clean but used foil to use as paint stamps for my preschoolers.
Sign up for paperless bills online.
Sign up for e-paperwork through usaa insurance company.

Book Review: Bitter Fruit

I had to read a book called, "Bitter Fruit" by Stephen Schlesinger and Stephen Kinzer. Absolutely loved it so thought I'd write a review for anyone interested in historical/political books...


Authors Stephen Schlesinger and Stephen Knizer have creatively woven together the details of a rather complicated story into a book that is accessible to readers of all levels of historical and political knowledge. Unlike many of the other political/historical books I’ve read, Bitter Fruit read more like a novel. I even found myself wanting to continue reading at the end of the night just to find out what happened next. Many of the key individuals in the book became villains, heroes and heroines. It could have perhaps been classified as a non-fiction mystery novel. I found myself rooting for the good guys and hoping for the derailment of the bad, which isn’t a very objective way to read a history book, I know.

Bitter Fruit is a disturbing tale of the role that the U.S. government played in the 1954 coup in Guatemala to overthrow the nation’s president, Jacobo Arbenz.

What is most disturbing about the information contained in Bitter Fruit is the hidden motivation of the U.S. government for their actions. Under the guise of “anti-communism,” the U.S. government took over a democratic form of government and essentially replaced it with a dictatorship. The real reason behind the coup was the protection of the interests of a major U.S. corporation, The United Fruit Company, which was being harmed by Arbenz’s land reforms and the changing of labor laws. It was at the urging of The United Fruit Company that the U.S. government got involved and the CIA planned and executed the coup.

Guatemala had long been a captor of United Fruit’s business dealings as they controlled the only port for trade out of Guatemala, Puerto Barrios, and they owned the railroads that ran through Guatemala. Arbenz sought to improve the life of his people by seeking land and labor reform and taking the power out of United Fruit’s hands and the U.S. government seemed more interested in protecting it’s economic interests than protecting a fledgling democracy.

Occasionally I found myself bogged down in the details of this story, which were overwhelming at times. The amount of people that played a variety of roles from those manipulating the public through the press to CIA directors, corporation presidents and Guatemalan exiles was unbelievable. And though the amount of specific detail regarding people involved and what specific roles they played, did at times become overwhelming, it also gave more credibility to the book. It seemed well researched, clearly thought out, and presented in a truthful way. In order for the book to make sense and for us to see the full effect of the coup, the authors took us from the beginning of the history of United Fruit, all the way through the details of the coup, it’s immediate impact and it’s future impact even in to the 1980s. The expanse of time covered in the book was a little much at times but without it, the readers might have been left with an incomplete picture.

Clearly, the impact of “Operation Success,” as the coup was referred to in U.S. circles, on Guatemala was devastating. Schlesinger and Kinzer communicated that social progress prior to the coup was slow, however there was at least progress. After the coup the only thing that seemed to happen to Guatemala was constant internal fighting and backwards steps in social reform. It saddens me to think of the role that U.S. materialism played in the turmoil of this country.

Though it doesn’t clearly state this as a “moral of the story,” Bitter Fruit offers a warning to those who will hear it. Over and over it told the tale of men like Edward Bernays, who found countless ways to manipulate the American public. On page 80 he is quoted saying, “The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country…it is the intelligent minorities which need to make use of propaganda continuously and systematically.” His personal relationships with many people who ran America’s newspapers and magazines, made him a force to be reckoned with. Throughout the book we see how Guatemala and its government was demonized in the American press and how the American public bought the lies “hook, line and sinker.” After reading Bitter Fruit, I would hope that a person would find it difficult to believe that the American press always presents the full picture and the absolute truth. I would hope that it would lead a person to question the things they see, hear and read and to never assume that there is no hidden agenda behind the words we read and hear. Ever story has a side and every side has a story.

The Core of Free Society

Last week my hubby so lovingly tivo'd "Austin City Limits with the Dixie Chicks." As I was listening to them perform "Not Ready to Make Nice," I was reminded of the experience that represented for them and I couldn't help but feel sad. I remember how angry I was when I first heard about it. I couldn't get over how incredibly hypocritical it was that we were fighing a "War on Terror" that was supposedly about protecting our "free nation" and fighting against a people who hated the freedom we stand for, when our very own people were doing the same thing, hating the very freedom we stand for. How can you fight for freedom and then condemn us for expressing that freedom?

A nation that loses it's right to speak and question it's leaders, loses it's freedom. The minute we give over that kind of power is the very minute we give up the very freedom we're trying to protect.

What freaks me out is that there doesn't seem to be many people who get that. I was watching Fahrenheit 9/11 for the second time the other night and Britney Spears comes on and says something about how we should just trust whatever our president says or does.

My last post was about my class I'm taking right now. I referred to some students in my class who basically said that cultures who don't live by our "enlightenment" ideals, basically modernism, are ignorant and living in blind obedience to authority. They referenced the Nazis and how easily people gave them the power to do what they did.

The interesting thing to me is that we could be so easily manipulated. Our nation is uninformed. Matt was telling me the other day that some people he works with had never even heard of Barack Obama. Not only are we uniformed, but we'll believe whatever Fox News tells us to believe. We are surrounded with propaganda and we fall for it, hook, line and sinker.
Just the other day a friend of mine said that people who live in Boston are terrorists. Why? Because they are liberals who don't just buy what the Republicans sell. Let me just say, after the handling of 9/11, the war in Iraq, Katrina and more, why would we? When a nation has been deceived time and time again, it is only appropriate that it begin asking the tough questions. And no, that doesn't make us terrorists. It makes us informed citizens, participating in the democracy that men and women have given their lives for.

I'm currently reading a book titled, "Bitter Fruit." I'm only a few chapters in, but basically it is about "the untold story of the American coup in Guatemala." Interesting book so far, but a line caught my attention today as I was thinking of these things. The first democratically elected President of Guatemala was Juan Jose Arevalo. The book says, "he delighted in the clash of opinions which represents the core of free society."

That seems to be a far cry from the free society our government honors today.

Enlightenment

I have been struggling through my World Civ class this semester. I think mainly because I have a hard time submitting something I don't fully buy in to. Recently we had to read info about the European Enlightenment and then, knowing that our worldview is largely based on the ideas of Enlightenment, we had to consider what the opposite of an "enlightened" individual might be. I was SHOCKED at how easily my classmates simply accepted that the "enlightened way" was the best way and anything less is ignorance. It took me a while to post mine submission because I wrote the exact opposite of everyone in my class. That is a little intimidating. But I got 100% on it so I guess it wasn't so awful. Thought I'd post it here for your enjoyment...ok maybe not for your enjoyment..perhaps for your enlightenment...lol...

I have to disagree with some of my classmates who have described the Enlightened concept of the individual as though it were "better" than it's opposite. To suggest that the opposite of the Enlightened concept is "un-enlightened" or "ignorant" ignores the impact that the ideals of Enlightenment can have on a society. Allison Goforth suggested that to be "un-enlightened" is to be blind. Jennifer Rau went on to say that the opposite of the enlightened individual is ignorant and obedient. I would like to suggest that cultures that live without these concepts that we are studying are not "less than" but simply carry a different value system. While the Enlightened individual may value "solitude" and "independence" as Goforth mentioned, the opposite values connectedness. Of course the differences go deeper than that and there are problems associated with either view in its extreme as many of my classmates have pointed out. The key difference I see between these opposing views is that the Enlightened concept sets up the individual person as the "end all, be all." One must think for themselves and derive all truth from one's own experiences and perceptions, devoid of any connection to past traditions or the community in which one lives. Our text states, "Most historical cultures define the individual's relation to society not by the concept of "right," as we do, but the concept of 'obligations.' This means that an individual sees himself or herself in relation to others based on the duties he or she owes others and society. Obligations tend to be stable, inherited, and concrete; they remain relatively the same through history as a culture develops." Jean-Jacques Rousseau writes about an individual's rights being given to them by the society within which they live. The Enlightened individual is concerned with their personal rights. In our country you often hear talk of our "rights" to do this or that and often our lack of concern regarding how exercising our rights impacts the lives of those around us. It makes sense that this view would bring with it more conflict than a culture where the concept of the individual is based on their obligations to the community they are a part of. The Enlightened individual values autonomy whereas it's opposite values connection. While the Enlightened concept might be, "Everyone's out for themselves," its opposite would be, "Watch out for the needs of others." Although in our nation there are pockets of communities who've held onto or rediscovered a greater desire to be connected and value community over individuality, for the most part we do tend to look out for our own needs above the needs of others. Recently I read a book titled, "What's the Matter With Kansas," that connects this view of an individual's rights and interests over those of the society with Rousseau's discussion of the "social contract." The book basically asks the question, "Why do working-class farmers in Kansas always vote Republican when the Republican Party never looks out for their best economic interests?" Of course the answers to that question are deep and impossible to properly discuss here. Essentially the author, Thomas Frank, communicates that the Republican Party looks out for the interests of the capitalists, the business class, the wealthy. Rousseau might suggest that it's time for a change because the individuals who've been given authority by the people, aren't working to protect the interests of the people. However, they are. The problem is that they are looking out for the interests of the wealthy rather than the working class. Herein lies one of the downfalls of the Enlightened concept of the individual: if you live in a society where everyone is looking out for their own interests, inevitably someone loses.

A Snowy Day

There are some definite benefits to being a teacher! I've only been to work one day in the last 6 days! Last Thursday was a snow day. Then had Monday off for MLK Day and today is ANOTHER snow day! Now if you live in WA you understand why this is so great! We never get this kind of weather!

Of course they didn't call it early enough this morning so I still had to get ready to go to work, but they called it before I left so I just laid on the couch and enjoyed a good movie and a little nap.

Bella's had a little fun eating the snow and I think we have the only shoveled walk way as I'm guessing we're the only ones in town with a snow shovel. People laughed at us when the unpacked our moving truck three years ago. Uh huh...who's laughing now!

And I've been baking! I made homemade sugar cookies with homemade icing...YUM!

Matt uploaded some photos of Bella playing in the snow. I won't bother uploading them but you can see them at www.mattnissen.blogspot.com.

Have fun all our WA friends!

Obama for President

"Thank you Lord for our testosterone!"

"Forget the yin and the yangI'll take the boom and the bang…. Don't need in touch with my feminine side! All I want is my testosterone high."

Any idea where these strange lyrics come from? It's a "worship song" from a new movement called "God Men." (www.godmen.org)

Apparently Jesus was a jerk and the only way to be a real Christian man is to be one too. Ok, I have to admit they don't come right out and say that, but they might as well. Interested in rule #1 for a real man's woman? "Learn to work the toliet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down."

The LA times quotes a man who had a little trouble when going home from the conference and trying to use his new found ideas about manly godliness.

"But some men at the conference run into trouble when they debut their new attitudes at home. Eric Miller, a construction worker, admits his wife is none too pleased when he takes off, alone, on a weekend camping trip a few weeks after the GodMen conference this fall.'She was a little bit leery of it, as we have an infant,' he reports. 'She said, 'I need your help around here.' 'He's pretty sure his wife will come around once she recognizes he's modeling his life after Jesus', like a good Christian should."

(http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-godmen7dec07,0,5040895.story?coll=la-home-headlines)

Yeah, good luck with that buddy.

Men hate going to church so let's not try and change men to be godly, let's change what it means to be a godly man. It's crap and it's distrubing to think that these are the kind of men that could be leading our churches. And they are. I've met them. And they shouldn't be.

The article goes on to describe an incident that took place at Wal-Mart.

"A few weeks later, Stephenson, 43, is still not sold on profanity. But he has ditched the nice-guy reflex of always turning the other cheek. When he spots a Wal-Mart clerk writing "Happy Holidays" on a window, he boldly complains: It should say 'Merry Christmas.' The clerk erases the offending greeting. Chalk one up for Christian testosterone. 'I wouldn't have done that before,' Stephenson says proudly. 'I am no longer a doormat.'"

Is this how we're going to demonstrate the love of Christ to the world? Is this how they will know that we are Christians? Not by our love, but by our strength and power? We've missed the boat. We've missed the ocean. I'm not even sure we're on the right planet.

Ouch

Following is an excerpt from one of my classmates assignments that I thought was blog worthy. Check it out....

"Thinking back...I remember as a child being invited to go to church with a neighbor. I was allowed to go. On the way to church we passed an elderly lady standing on the side of the road. What appeared to be her car was parked with the emergency flashers on and the car hood up. The woman appeared to be upset as she was looking right and left and back again – she was crying. My friend and I asked if we should stop and see if the elderly woman needed help. My friend's dad was driving and he said "No, we don't want to be late to church." I never went to church with that family again."

Ouch, that stings a little bit. I wonder how many times we let our religious "duties" get in the way of living like Jesus. Being a Christian means to be a follower of Christ. In the way we are living, are we following Christ's example? I hate to think how many times my own hypocrisy has turned someone away from the church. I thought her comments were eye opening and a very important reminder for us in the church. We need to be careful not to get caught up in doing church and instead to be fully aware of how God is presenting us with opportunities to be Christ's body to the world.