Insanity Plea

If I ever committed murder I could easily call for an insanity plea. It's completely ludicrous, the things I do and think are necessary to achieve just a few hours of sleep or peace and quiet. One night my dear child falls asleep quickly and stays asleep for four hours so I have to retrace my steps to figure out what miracle cure I have found.

Okay, so Tuesday night I drank three sips of cherry coke and ate half a chocolate chip cookie while daddy held her. Then I nursed for fifteen minutes and quickly changed her diaper. Daddy rocked her in the chair for half an hour and then laid her in her co-sleeper with the fan on and the small lamp lighting the room. Five hours later she wakes up for her first middle of the night feeding. Sweet! Well, then Wednesday night I must do the exact same thing because obviously I have found the key. Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat...as needed.

My new thinking is that daddy has to rock her or she won't stay asleep. Which sucks since daddy is playing poker tonight. Shit. I'm going to be up all night with a screaming baby. So I'm sitting in my rocking chair after nursing and changing her diaper. Matt says I'm not relaxed enough and since she's screaming at the top of her lungs, I'm thinking, "Sure...relax." So I let me body go limp (while trying to still hold her...right). Uh yeah, this doesn't help. Ah, perhaps it is the perfect balance of relaxed and stiff that I'm looking for. Stiffen, relax, stiffen, relax. And so it goes.

This ridiculous line of thinking goes on in my head for a while when I suddenly realize, she's quiet and her eyes are barely open. And just a few minutes later, she's asleep in her co-sleeper and I'm sitting here typing when I should be getting ready for bed.