Fleeting Moments

This week little S started picking up her rattle.  Last week she could only hold it if I opened her hand and placed it in it.  Today she picks it up and tries to put it in her mouth.  I can't help but think she's almost 20 and moving out of my house already.  I can already hardly remember what it was like to hold her when she was barely even 8 lbs.  The nights of pacing the floors for hours and hours and sleeping on the couch with her because she refused to lay anywhere but in someone's arms, seem like a long forgotten memory.

Last night I while I nursed her in bed at 1:30 in the morning I smiled as her tiny little hand softly caressed my breast.  These are the moments that won't be captured on film.  These are the moments that fill my heart up.  These are the moments that I fear will fade in my memory as new special moments between mother and daughter appear.

I know many moms who talk about really disliking having their babies sleep in the room with them, but I cherish it.  I love it when I wake up in the night and can look over and see her sweet little arms stretched out and her body curled up on her side, just like I like to sleep.  I love that when she starts to fuss before falling asleep, it usually only takes my hand resting on her tummy to calm her back to sleep.  I love those last couple of hours in the morning when she's not tired enough to sleep in her co-sleeper but she will cuddle up in my arms and sleep beside me.  I wake up before she does many days and open my eyes to see her sweet face next to mine and I just watch her as she sleeps.  I wouldn't trade any hours of extra sleep for these moments with my daughter.  I know that before long she'll be too grown to cuddle in bed with me.  She'll want her own room, her privacy.  But for now, I will cherish these moments.