Honest Conversations

I've never really been a huge fan of attending Bible study groups. It always seemed like everyone just gives what they think are the right answers. Nothing ever really gets any where and we don't really grow because we are just touting off about what some preacher told us 10 years ago. We agree with what the Bible teaches but we don't face it in a way that helps us wrestle with it's application in real, messy, day to day life.

For those of us who've grown up in the church, some where along the way someone taught us what it looks like to be a good Christian. And every since we've been working hard at putting ourselves in that box and making everything we say and do reflect that image. I think a lot of us lose who Christ created us to be when we try so hard to fit a certain idea that others have imposed on us. I feel like for a long time I couldn't see what God had called me to be because I was stuck in that box. It's only been recently that I've really been trying to strip that away and understand who I am in relation to God and how I fit into His greater plan.

I think along with that image, I stopped thinking for myself. In college people were willing to and excited about having honest conversations about God and theology. But I wasn't really there then. I couldn't really talk honestly about what happens when your theology on homosexuality meets a person who loves God but is homosexual. I couldn't let myself think about the weird and confusing things in the Bible. I couldn't let myself question. Even though I lived in a world, created by God, that was full of color and beauty and diversity, I lived my life in black and white.

I'm a part of a group of people that meet weekly right now to talk about the Bible and stuff and it's the first time I feel like we're scratching the surface of talking about real stuff and wrestling with real life and real questions. It's the first time I've actually enjoyed being a part of that type of group. In my life I know I need more of that. I need to have honest conversations that don't put things into either/or categories. Through those conversations, I hope that God's Spirit will help me see the things I've been missing all along.